Now I'm not saying . . .

. . . that teabagmeister Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. That is completely unproven, and is nothing more than speculation at this point. However, it is an undeniable fact that a Google search for the words "glenn beck rape murder young girl" currently returns an astonishing 727,000,000 hits. It is also an undeniable fact that Beck has never publicly addressed these allegations. We here at the Johnny Pez blog find that particularly suspicious. If Glenn Beck has nothing to hide, then why is he so intent on shutting down all discussion of this subject?

Mr. Beck, teabaggers across America need to hear the truth from your own lips. If you speak up now, you can put this whole controversy into a shallow, unmarked grave, wrapped in plastic, with your initials carved into the forehead to rest.