Evil Minions

Here's a question that hasn't received sufficient consideration: where do Diabolical Masterminds get their Evil Minions from? In the Kim Possible series it was suggested that they come from a company called Henchco, a temp agency that hires out Evil Minions. But, really, that's just moving the problem back a step, because then the obvious question becomes: where does Henchco find them?

The answer is obvious once you consider the similar question of where professional football teams get their players. The answer, of course, is that they recruit them from college football teams.

What happens, though, to college football players who aren't drafted into the NFL? After all, in four years of college, all they've really learned is how to play football. Their employment prospects are extremely limited. That makes them the perfect source for Evil Minions. After all, being a football player means you have to be big, strong, tough, and willing to obey orders. And after spending four years laboring under your typical college football coach, how much worse can working for a Diabolical Mastermind be?

This also explains why you never hear about Diabolical Masterminds hatching plots involving professional football. If the Evil Minions find themselves running into their former teammates, there's bound to be some risk of a conflict of interest, and what Diabolical Mastermind wants that kind of trouble?

So, a word of encouragement to student athletes across America: if you don't get picked during draft season, don't worry. You can always go to work for Hank Scorpio.