Wednesday, December 3, 2008

You too can be a crazy wingnut blogger!

Doop-de-doop, checkin' my email, doop-de-doop . . .

Welcome to the Net Right Nation


"Americans for Limited Government"

Uh-oh. What have we here?

Dear Fellow Blogger,

It is my distinct pleasure, as the president of Americans for Limited Government, to invite you today to become a key member of the exciting new conservative “bloggers central,”

Heavy sigh. Another new conservative "bloggers central". Apparently Pajamas Media, Blogs for Brownback Bush Victory, RedState, Hot Air, and all the other conservative "bloggers centrals" haven't been getting the job done.

At ALG, we recognize the critical role you as a blogger play in gathering, assimilating, and disseminating news and commentary. And I, personally, am deeply grateful to you for taking the lead in fighting some of the most important battles our country has faced over the past decade, and more.

True, we bloggers have been crucial in telling the world about how Obama is Malcolm X’s secret love child, and alerting it to the existence of the Michelle Obama Tape, the Barack Obama Tape, the Other Michelle Obama Tape, and of course the Obama’s Grandmother Tape, to say nothing of the secret Obama national flag, the Obama jetliner tail logo scandal, and (lest we forget) the forged Obama birth certificate. Who knows what horrors our nation might have faced had we bloggers not alerted the public to these vital stories and turned the tide on election day? I for one think President-elect McCain owes the entire blogosphere a debt of profound gratitude.

That's why I am so pleased to announce that is providing bloggers like you, the mainstream media, politicians, and other opinion leaders free, instant access to nearly 60,000 conservative blogs nationwide. And counting.

Be still my beating heart.

As a complete service bureau, NRN provides you a wide new array of blogger opportunities. As a featured blogger on NRN, you will be able to post your own blogs and interface with other like-minded bloggers nationwide. You will soon be able to “claim” your blog and customize your blog profile.

Yessiree, come an' stake yer claim before the gold rush hits!

Information on NRN – blogs, as well as Twitter feeds -- will be divided by state, as well as by issue, to make it easy for you and others to access. NRN will also include a sophisticated search engine function and will soon have the capability for you to subscribe to customized email blog feeds on your topics of choice. Stay tuned, for these features will soon be online!

Wow, that sounds great! In fact, I can't imagine how you can top all that.

And all of that is just the beginning.

Whoops, looks like I spoke too soon!

In fact, I have asked ALG's Director of New Media, Adam Bitely, to follow up on this note with a letter of his own providing you the exciting details on how NRN can help you grow your own blog.

Okay, now I have to call shenanigans. "Adam Bitely"? You really had me going there for a while, but now I know this is all just some prank. Who did this? It was those radio station guys in Montreal, wasn't it?

Above all, we want to make sure NRN is all that you, an important member of the conservative blogosphere, want it to be. So, as you visit, I urge you to please give us your input on how to make it the valuable asset we are committed to providing, at absolutely no charge.

Ah, the possibilities! Something involving pirates and ninjas, perhaps? I'm sure I can think of something.

Thank you for all that you are doing.

No, no, thank you!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Oh, I think I can guarantee that you'll be hearing from me, ye scurvy dog! Arrrrrr!


Bill Wilson
President, Americans for Limited Government

"Bill Wilson"? I think that pretty much settles it, this is definitely a prank of some sort. Or maybe a scam. Will "Bill Wilson" and "Adam Bitely" be introducing us to a Nigerian banker with fifty million dollars to unload? I'm starting to get the feeling it'll turn out to be something like that.

This situation bears watching.

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