I pledge allegiance to the great and powerful Barack Obama
Lord and master of us all
And to the republic over which he reigns
One nation, under Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful
From whom all blessings flow
Indivisible, with no secessions allowed, not even Texas
With Sharia Law and burkas for all.
A few chain emails to set the whole thing in motion, and we'll have them all wetting themselves.