Friday, November 9, 2012

Sofia Vergara is stalking me


She follows me everywhere I go, peering at me from above her can of Diet Pepsi.  She pretends to look away when I turn to face her, but I know that as soon as I turn away, she'll be watching me again.  Watching . . . always watching!  The woman is a menace!

3 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Now that's the sort of threat I could live with.

Johnny Pez said...

You laugh now, B^4, but it won't sound so funny when I'm found dead in a pool of my own blood with that straw protruding from my chest.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

She'd probably exsanguinate you with that straw and give you a Diet Pepsi transfusion, making you an unholy half-cola/half-human abomination.